Real Programmers do Artificial Intelligence programs in FORTRAN.

https://www.ee.torontomu.ca/~elf/hack/realmen.html I have such a hard time believing this was written in 1982 - this feels like it must be some sort of 2024 dev in a time machine.

Quiche Eaters use PASCAL.

I have used Pascal. And I do like to make a nice quiche.

I'm hundy-p a quiche eater in all senses

If you can't do it in FORTRAN, do it in assembly language. If you can't do it in assembly language, it isn't worth doing.

🤣

In all seriousness, this was like - the best article/satire/parody I've read in years. I have so many of these same conversations today, 40 years later - with modernized languages and buzzwords So, I think the conclusion is....... Re-write it in Rust, and use Arch by the way

I thought Rust is for quiche eaters though Haskell is for Real Programmers.

Ah, I assumed in 2024, JS users would be the quiche eaters.

That UUCP email address is a blast from the past. I’m surprised it didn’t include

ihnp4

.

Ah, I assumed in 2024, JS users would be the quiche eaters.

I was inverting the joke a bit there. To die hard functional programming enthusiasts, we are all quiche eaters.

I was inverting the joke a bit there. To die hard functional programming enthusiasts, we are all quiche eaters.

whoosh

I tried to learn Haskell. I gave up.

"Real Programming Languages, as we all know, have implicit typing based on the first letter of the (six character) variable name." LOL

Ah yeah, I probably should have also linked the wiki: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Real_Programmers_Don%27t_Use_Pascal I'm using quiche eater from here on in. Gotta bring it back